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（烤箱響）

時間剩不多了。再不開始收行李的話就會來不及了，你先開始吧。我超快，一下就會好了。等一下就過去。

（做了流淚的手勢）

YouTube上有個影片，標題叫做「過去真的發生過嗎？」裡面提到一個理論，叫「上星期四理論」。大意是，其實你沒有辦法證明，你所有的記憶，以及世界上的所有歷史，都不是上星期四才出現的。包含你的出生、阿里山上的神木、廢棄的兒童樂園，或是一些抽象的事物，像是哲學和物理。或是吹風機。但即便有很多理論可以用來反駁這個理論，或說法，聽到這個說法，或是知道有人曾經產生過這個想法，這種離奇的可能性，都讓我很開心。剛看完這個影片時，我就像被閃電打到一樣開心。

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(The oven dings.)

There’s not much time left. If we don’t start packing, we won’t make it. You can start first. I’m super fast, I’ll be ready in no time. I’ll be there in a minute.

(Makes a gesture of weeping.)

There’s a video on YouTube titled “Did the past really happen?” It’s about a theory called “Last Thursday Theory.” The main idea is that you actually cannot prove that all your memories and all the histories in this world, didn’t just appear last Thursday. That includes your coming into existence, giant trees on Alishan, abandoned amusement parks, or something abstract such as philosophy and physics. Or hairdryers. Even though there are plenty of theories you could use to refute this one, just hearing this idea, or knowing that someone once came up with it, this bizarre possibility, makes me really happy. Once I finished that video, I was as happy as if I’d been struck by lightning.

_{演出於2019臺北藝穗節
Performed at the 2019 Taipei Fringe Festival.}